Sick

I have been sick. I have been sick, not in the seriously sick way of disease, just in the grinding boring way of endless minor infections that seem to have attacked my body off and on for the past three months.

I know I am not alone. And I do not mean to whine, or even to complain. My little list of irritants is nothing compared to what so many people suffer. It seems almost pathetic to mention a sore throat, runny nose, oozy eyes, little fevers, achy head, and rasping throat in the light of cancer, heart disease, AIDS. But I want to try to hear the voice of my infection, to understand the message my familiar afflictions bear.

To be sick in any form is to be made aware of human frailty. Life does not run smoothly. I do not always get what I want. There are things that are difficult, painful and unpleasant in every life. Everyone has something with which they struggle. Why should I for one minute think I should be exempt?

Sickness confronts me starkly with the most basic choice of human life. Either I resist and fight against my sickness or I accept and embrace the reality of my body.

Perhaps it sounds strange to think of embracing sickness. But, sickness is just another part of life. Sickness accepted has the capacity to open me to a deeper place in myself. This is the place from which true health may come because sickness confronts me with the reality of my weakness. And it is only as I accept my weakness that I can be made well.

Paul said, “I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:10) It is strange we so often think that only our strength will be attractive. In reality, it is weakness embraced with grace that allows the beauty of Christ’s presence to shine in our lives.

If I allow my physical struggles to do their work, I will find they soften my heart and allow true beauty to radiate through the cracks in my life. In this way perhaps I no longer need to view sickness as my enemy; perhaps in sickness I can find a friend.